Embrace Big Feelings!
Denise Gilliam
Our children have big emotions and show it through tantrums, yelling, hitting and pushing. While upsetting for the adults in their lives, these emotional outbursts are normal and necessary for the development of healthy social/emotional skills. Young children are just beginning to learn self-control and emotional regulation. Preschool is the first time many children experience an environment with expectations, rules and social engagement. They need exposure and time in these situations to learn how to socialize, negotiate and solve real problems. Aggressive acts are often a way of exerting independence, expressing frustration, and testing social skills. Safety is always our first priority but we can also embrace teachable moments, while recognizing that healthy child development involves strong emotions.
On Friday, October 11, 2024, CCEP teachers will spend the day at a Conscious Discipline workshop. The Conscious Discipline program empowers teachers and caregivers to be conscious of brain-body states in ourselves and our children. We will learn the practical skills to manage our own thoughts, feelings and actions. When we regulate our own emotions, we can then teach our children to do the same.
By doing this, we help children who are physically aggressive (survival state) or verbally aggressive (emotional state) become more integrated so they can learn and use problem-solving skills (executive state). The brain state model is founded on the core principles of safety, connection and problem solving.
My son Fisher, now 19 years old, had BIG emotions when he was little. I found myself feeling depleted and hopeless when I couldn’t fix his problems or know how to help him to calm down. What I didn’t understand and eventually learned (the hard way), these were Fisher’s feelings, not mine. I had to let him learn to solve his own problems while giving him a lot of love and support. Once I was able to navigate my own emotions, I learned that Fisher didn’t need me to have big emotions too, he just needed me to love him and be present with him during these difficult times. Our connection with children is everything! Later, we could then talk about what happened and brainstorm together safe ways of coping with our feelings.
Click here to read more about Conscious Discipline and to access valuable resources. Parents - Conscious Discipline